Reflecting back on this last year, so much changed, and yet so much remained the same. It wasn’t a cataclysmic year, thank the stars, but one that had a feeling of a never-ending multilayered flower that was starting to bloom. My petals were releasing from the tight bud, some didn’t want to release, some flew open with ease, all of them being touched by sunshine for the first time. It felt great in moments, way too intense and uncomfortable in other moments, and I just rode the wave of each moment out.
I don’t do New Years resolutions. I do intentions. Not for things like fit into a size 2 pants… that brings no joy, I seek what emotional intentions, some that feel good, some to create discomfort and self-growth. In 2019, some of my intentions were: expansion, creativity, love, abundance, connection, travel, ease, joy, laughter…
I’d forget about these intentions as the days passed by. I would be reminded along the way, being wowed at how filled I was with abundance and connection, surrounded by love, affection. How, for the majority of my days, I could tap into my heart center and feel unbound joy, a childlike playfulness. I traveled, all for adventure, self-expansion, and exploration. I connected with others, I created in ways I had no idea was even in my wheelhouse, and I tried to spread as much joy and love as I could. I stopped trying to force together ideas to create a future, but to see what threads filled my soul, touching me, and filling me up.
I grieved this year; losing a loved one, experiencing rejection, and the hardest one was a belief system that rocked my world. I cried for two weeks straight on that one, uncontrolled. Through work, at home, alone, with people, and I was so appreciative that I felt internally safe to allow those feelings to just be felt. Unashamed, vulnerable, and authentic.
This year I decided rejection is really re-direction. That if I embraced the changes (versus resisted) things were so much easier. I tried to experience whatever joy can be felt, no stories, no self-doubting, or getting stuck in my head. I followed my gut and my resonance system; sticking true to what feels right for me. I relied on my tribe. I really discovered my tribe.
As I wrap up this year, it wasn’t filled with physical riches or even hard traction toward big life goals, though I took steps in accomplishing goals. It was filled with expansion, creativity, connection, abundance, and inner connectivity. It was filled with intention and selflove. 2019 set me up to move into this new decade perfectly aligned for whatever is next in my experience. I am open and there is much love to be felt, shared, and spread. I am following the thread that wake me.
- Maravilla, New Hampshire
