I was standing outside the first of July. It was Dusk. I heard the night turn on with the night bugs. In my screened in porch, I looked down at my legs. For the first time in my life they didn’t seem like mine. Lean, long, muscular, in the light they certainly had a beauty I hadn’t seen with my eyes. A wave of appreciation washed over me. I have strong beautiful legs, I thought. They have carried my body throughout my 40 years (including the growth and mobility of 2 babies) and sure, they complained, but really only because I went out of my way to torture them. Running improperly, not warming up before leg work outs, my critical eyes fell often to my saddle bags or my belly. Saggy arms. Then I had children and then I forgot to criticize. Life is swift moving and a moment in the mirror is productive in nature instead of judgmental. I usually have a toddler on my leg and another up to some kind of climbing that may leave my make up crooked most days.
When I was younger, I was sick, had stomach issues, lyme disease, fatigue…. the list was long and stress was a regular at my hormonal bar. I was over weight but exercised. My mind paused and left my body the ability to heal through my unconscious awe of the creation of humans. My body created life. Holy crap how did THAT not blow my mind before this moment!? From the gratitude came deep love. I am breathing in and out. I dont have to worry that I will forget to breathe and die. The organs in my body are working to keep me upright and feeling good despite what ever I sent into the belly and into the bloodstream. My immune system is always on guard, and my hormones and driving my genes mood and ok, overwhelmed with the miracle machine I have been honored to run through my life.
Have I really listened to my body or should I change how I communicate? Do I do what I do to my body because of the outside world? Do I feel so good today because I subconsciously shifted my critical mind to acceptance? So many questions. My head started to swirl with regret. How could I treat my body with such neglect, with such disconnect? I exercised for 25 years regularly but never once appreciated the strength and communication that my body was sharing with me, it was a chore. Unconditionally, my trillion cells operate every moment to enhance my wellness. I realize that I am back in the porch and I am staring at beautiful legs that are mine. Forgiveness wrapped me as I closed my eyes and took in the moist summer night with my senses. The questions dissolved and one answer was loud and clear; your body loves you unconditionally. My mind was ready to reciprocate its love… its not perfect, but my body and I have the best relationship we have ever had, making my life full inside and out.
~EP New Hampshire
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All Love Letters’ are pristine, posted as they were received. Please forgive any spelling and grammar issues, since the writing was done in the throes of love, and sometimes love doesn’t care about commas or misplaced letters.
