Freedom; such a big word. I have been progressively striving towards my own inner freedom for years now and I will continue to deepen it in the years to come. I view my inner world as a place that I am consistently exploring, playing in, and shifting around, releasing beliefs that no longer serve me… striving towards an inner joy and peace daily. Cause if my inner world is there, my outer world will be too, especially with life’s challenges to keep my practice from getting lax.
Somewhere along my path, I turned away from myself, my inner being. I judged, shamed, ridiculed, mistrusted, and covered myself in fear so thick that is paralyzed me. I struggled in every aspect of life. Because I didn’t trust myself, no one was safe. Because I felt so much fear, I kept everything locked down and guarded, you say be vulnerable, I’d say what it that? … Your crazy! Because I felt so unworthy, I had to prove myself to the world. And the list goes on and on.
I won’t rant on about it; I am a completely different person today from the shadow of my past. I don’t turn my back on my past either but embrace it as having helped me really find myself.
Gaining my inner freedom played out on multiple platforms, the first and most essential, cultivating my awareness. Awareness with what I was feeling. Awareness of the choice of words I used and their impact on my emotional system. Awareness with my body and really connected to her in a physical manner. Awareness with my thought patterns. Awareness with when I judged myself or others. Awareness with what put into my body and how my body reacted or my mind. Awareness with what started to bring me joy. Awareness with how I interacted with others and awareness with how that left me feeling. Awareness…
My awareness brought me in touch with myself. Not with cathartic moments that quickly passed with nothing changing other than (for me) a realization of what may have caused a certain belief/pattern of behavior. No, my awareness shed and shifted those beliefs, discarded the oppressiveness of them, gave me choices in, not changing factual events, but in how I viewed those events. Moved me from a space of untrusting to trusting, unforgiving to forgiven, from lonely and unconnected, to singularly connected to myself first and then others… and ultimately, to loving myself. All of this, and so much more, evolved into inner freedom and playfulness.
Side note – the picture I uploaded cracks me up! EVERY time I look at it. As you may or may not be able to tell, I was in a fantastically FIESTY mood. I have since used this picture by shrinking it to differing sizes, I think 1 inch is the best, and left hidden all over someone’s house. Yesssss… the gift that never stops giving.
#selflove #fiestylove #innerfreedom #spreadlove #lovestories @maravilla_love
All Love Letters’ are pristine, posted as they were received. Please forgive any spelling and grammar issues, since the writing was done in the throes of love, and sometimes love doesn’t care about commas or misplaced letters.